Weight Loss is Contagious for Partners in Couples Counseling

Mar 06, 2019

Instead of feeling self-conscience about the love handles, people who participate in couples counseling often lose weight together in a positive way. Getting fit and eating healthy has a ripple effect on a partner's weight loss. For a spouse who don't feel as attracted to his or her partners due to weight gain, it's important to handle the issue in a delicate way. Weight gain after settling into a marriage is extremely common. At the same time, it's also natural for one spouse to feel resentful that the other spouse "let it all go." A fit spouse might feel as though the overweight spouse betrayed him or her by gaining weight. The good news is a study in the Obesity journal discovered that one partner's commitment to fitness helps the other partner lose weight. A clinical trial followed 130 couples. One of the spouses followed a formal weight-loss program. One-third of the spouses who were not involved in the formal weight-loss program also lost weight. Of course, the opposite effect happens when one partner sabotages the other partner by bringing pizza and junk food into the home.

Getting the conversation started

Participating in a couples therapy is an easy way to get a healthy lifestyle going without offending the overweight partner. It's important to find out if the overweight partner is using food as an emotional crutch instead of dealing with emotions and problems. A counselor helps couples figure out how to make a plan and reduce power struggles.

Finding the motivation within

Most people won't successfully lose weight and get fit just to make a partner happy. In fact, studies show people who lose weight and keep it off feel motivated for health reasons. A counselor helps you get clear about the motivation for losing weight. It's also important to set other goals in addition to weight loss and fitness goals. It's a red flag of larger marital problems if a partner is not willing to adopt a healthier lifestyle. Some red flags that you need couples therapy to deal with food issues include competitive and negative comments about food.

Accepting the new partner's look

Some partners have trouble dealing with the diet success enjoyed by a spouse. If a woman loses 50 pounds, she suddenly becomes more attractive to other men. Some spouses view a partner's transformation as a threat or interpret it as self-centered behavior. During couples therapy, partners explore their insecurities and issues. It's important to learn good communication skills, but sometimes a person doesn't even know what's really causing all the angst. While a dietician can help a family with meal-planning and healthful eating tips, a dietician can't fix deeper problems that stem from childhood issues, abuse or infidelity in a marriage. Marriage takes work. Oftentimes, it's about exploring our relationships with people in the past as well as our "relationship" with food itself.

Instead of making weight loss a competition, get closer by exercising together, exploring more activities and cooking healthy meals. Considering eating meals together without the distractions of cell phones and television. Couples who take the time to eat together every night often feel bonded. It's not necessary to turn every dinner into a romantic candle-lit dinner, but spend time talking about the day. If possible, follow the same weight-loss approach unless a dietician suggests otherwise. Working together on a positive goal often brings couples together. Seeking couples counseling is often the first step to getting a marriage back on track. For more information about couples counseling, please contact us today.